On Death and Dying

Baba God na your handwork eh
No be lie
Na your handwork eh
I say
E no
easy eh (oh oh oh oh)
to dey sing and dey dance and the people de rejoice ye ehhhhhhh ( scream with me please because P square is immaculate vibes)

My inspiration to write about death is from a conversation I had with a friend, buss down Chenems. I do not mean the death that you mention after seeing something very funny, “I’m deadddd” or that guy “killeddd me”. I am talking the permanent ending of someone’s life, eyes shut.

The question was, if we know death is inevitable why haven’t we found a way to curb some of its pain and how it affects us? We have almost figured out ways to deal with other forms of pain, but death is where we draw the line? We have conferences to address philosophy and meaning in life but not death? Because I believe, I am willing to have more conversations about death and its impacts in my life. Death has no guest list, it does not choose, it is for everybody.

Last year, I lost one of my close family members. And I do not how I feel about that whole incident. I do not know what I feel. It is a year now; she has not been lying on the bed she constantly laid on. Her body form had been kind enough to leave an indent on the mattress. The mattress is gone but the space is still there. I am sure I will not be able to feel her again but that is all. But look, who will I go ask these questions? who will I talk to? how will I heal if it is not a wound yet? when will it be a wound?

This mystery took me on to Zuckerberg’s blessing (Google). Of course, I searched how to write about death because sensitivity is subjective. Then I searched the meaning of death. Did you guess that the first search was all about how to make people cry when reading/watching a death scene? Yes, that was quite popular. Then the second search led me to different philosophical chains with the usual findings. “The mystery of death is part of the enigma of the soul and of life itself; understanding death really means understanding life.”, but why are all conversations about life more than death? Is it not a balance?

I am not comfortable with the phrase “sorry for your loss” because which part of my loss are you sorry about? and why are you sorry about it? They are in a better place now? what place? what makes you think so? They might be out there dancing with the devil or Abraham the father of all, we never know. There are very many painful things we go through in life that are unusual. childbirth, menopause, period pains, accidents, post-partum depression, name it all. We are figuring out ways we could approach dealing with this but what about death?

You know, I usually say the only thing I hate about death is that it takes that person away for good. Wena (Yes, I have been obsessed with RHOJ off late, I need my South African passport) I cannot even fly, jump, walk to come and feel somebody. We find ways to explain to kids which they swallow. *yes, I understand* But are you sure that is a better place she is at? thank you, but what are we sorry for?

I do not know what I am trying to conclude. The conservation with my friend never ended, it just diverted. Do you see what I mean?

I believe when people die, they decompose. I do not engage with the spirituals; I do not want to believe that they are watching over me. Because my will has no ability to engage with what has potential to be demonic. However, if those bones could speak would they miss us? who is getting to decide whether death becomes a usual conversation?

Feel free to leave your thoughts. Comment, email, Dm. Let us talk!

With Love from my Keyboard. 




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I do things! I am a curious cruiser of life and sometimes I write about my experiences and interests. Read, share and stay gorgeous! Awin

One thought on “On Death and Dying

  1. Love love it tho. Forreal though I engage with the spirituals but I believe in the form of reincarnation. I’m just praying that this time around she comes in a less stressful and happier form because her last lifetime was too hectic, an easier one on her would be better.
    Like how comes grieving or processing loss is so personal and not too many convos are had about it while it’s the only certain thing in this life
    Because as we get older the folks we know are also heading there as we are. Like how do adults do it when people their age or people from their childhood starting going one by one


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